


Breaking Point

by takethistomygrave



Series: Terror [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Crazy Gerard Way, Creepy Gerard Way, Fear Play, Frank has a panic attack, Gerard freaks him out, Isolation, M/M, Possible trigger with the panic attack, Psychopath Gerard, Requested, not edited cause im lazy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 18:50:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13910055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takethistomygrave/pseuds/takethistomygrave
Summary: Gerard pushes Frank a little too far.





	Breaking Point

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mychemicallyromantic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mychemicallyromantic/gifts).



> For mychemicallyromantic, for they requested it :) Thank you to a lovely friend of mine called Niamh for hyping me up because I probably would have given up on this had it not been for her. I hope you all enjoy this because I spent a lot of time on it and put so much work into it. Also, I apologize if I accidentally offend anybody with how i wrote the panic attack. i wrote Frank's like mine are. one final thing: that cup scene may seem kinda dumb and useless, but i threw it in here because it’s very important to another part i’ll write for this!!!
> 
> update: this part was a sequel to a work called 'Terror.' Terror has since been deleted due to the content and nature the writing had portrayed. At the time these works were produced, I was in a really bad place in my life and was struggling with severe mental health issues, and I had an extremely bad mentality, which I have grown from and no longer hold. I do not condone any of the things I have portrayed in my writing, nor do I think violence and/or abuse is okay in any way or in any form. I will not delete this and Body Count because this happens to strangely be a work I am very proud of, and Body Count was written with somebody and I would hate to disregard their hard work and their creativity. I would like to apologize if this content offended or made anybody uncomfortable. That was never - and never will be - my intention. I will continue writing because it's what makes me happy and what helped me through the horrible times, and being able to express my ideas helped me find who I am and better myself as a person. I will still be writing frerard and possibly some other things, so stick around if you would like to. Take care, my friends.

Frank watched as Gerard picked at his fingernails, frowning as the elder flicked a clump of dried blood into the trashcan next to the sink. “This is disgusting. I hate getting blood under my nails.” Gerard muttered and scowled at the bin. “It was bloodier than I thought it would be.”

Frank shuddered as he listened to Gerard’s words. It was so _disturbing_ hearing him speaking about murdering or the aftereffects of murdering so causally. Even after all Gerard had done to him and what he had seen Gerard do, it still scared him. He had seen everything. He had seen things that should have never happened.

“If you don’t like blood, don’t kill people.” Frank suggested sarcastically, rolling his eyes when Gerard turned to shoot a tiny glare. He wasn’t mad, though. More so amused.

“I never said I didn’t _like_ blood. I just said it was disgusting to have it under your nails, and that there was more than I thought.” He argued, peering at Frank from the corner of his eye as he turned off the running water and began to walk towards their couch, wiping his wet hands on his pants. Frank sighed, slightly annoyed by that. It was a pet peeve of his and Gerard basically always did it.  “You know I like blood.” He scoffed.

“You never get disgusted.” Frank pointed out and scooted away when his boyfriend sat down, eyes flickering back to the muted TV. Frank had been watching a horror movie as he waited for his boyfriend to come back from his... _hobby_ and it was still playing on the screen. It was stereotypical - a dumb blonde bitch that got herself into a stupid, extremely bad situation.

“That’s not true.”

Frank scoffed playfully and looked at his lover, a small smile poised on his lips. “Name one time you were grossed out by something.”

Gerard raised his finger to point at Frank with a wicked smile and determined eyes. It didn’t last long, however. Soon he was furrowing his eyebrows and lowering his finger as his smile fell. “I…I don’t know.” He admitted, bringing his pointer finger to skim his bottom lip. “I guess you’re right.” He shrugged.

“Oh wow, Gerard Way just admitted that he’s wrong. _Holy shit.”_ Frank gasped dramatically. Gerard _hated_ admitting he did something wrong. It made him feel _weak_ and _dumb,_ and Gerard wasn’t fucking weak or dumb. So, Frank definitely knew something was wrong at that moment. Normally Gerard would just snap at him, angry that Frank had made him look stupid. But he was _calm,_ and that scared the fuck out of Frank. Personally, Frank didn’t see how being wrong was a bad thing. Frank had made mistakes a lot and had been incorrect many times and everything had been okay. He didn’t really understand why it upset Gerard so much, but he always just went with it. Gerard never really liked being questioned when it came to situations like this, and Frank didn’t really like when Gerard lashed out at him for that.

Being with Gerard was irritating as hell sometimes. Frank could ignore the whole killing thing, despite the little voice in his head calling him stupid and criticizing basically all of his life choices. But something that got to him was that Gerard couldn’t carry out normal human interactions sometimes. He’d couldn’t really hold a normal conversation like others a lot, and it kind of pissed Frank off. But there wasn’t much he could do about it. It didn’t bother him enough for him to actually take action, either.

“What are you up to?” Frank sighed tiredly, sinking into the couch and watching Gerard with accusing eyes. He checked over Gerard quickly, scrutinizing him. He took in his posture, his position, his expression, and his _eyes._ The eyes were always important. Gerard slipped up sometimes when it came to hiding his intentions or emotions, although he’d never admit that. Frank cursed lowly when he realized that Gerard’s eyes were basically blank of any emotion except cockiness and that he’d be stumbling throughout the night blindly.

 Gerard raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, silently mocking Frank. “I’m not up to anything, Frankie.” He laughed carelessly, shifting so he was now leaning into the corner seat of the couch. “I don’t get why you’re always so afraid of me, Babydoll. I’ve never truly hurt you.” He giggled again. He was laughing this time because he knew what he was saying was bullshit. He had battered Frank relentlessly before, bruising and breaking him.

“That’s the biggest bullshit I’ve ever heard.” Frank spit out immediately, losing his wary stance for a minute so he could laugh. “You have cut your name into my back, carved your initials in a heart into my hip, slammed my head against floors and walls, repeatedly kicked me in the stomach, shoved me in a car trunk, chased me through the woods, gagged me, and beat me. That’s not even all of it.” Frank listed, staring at Gerard disbelievingly. Gerard just shrugged.

“You liked it.” He replied. Frank sighed and dragged a hand down his face.

“It scared me. _You_ scared me.”

“Once again, you liked it. And that’s just what I do, baby.” He shrugged again and crossed his arms, peering at Frank intensely, silently daring him to question him more. Frank just his eyes and pushed himself even farther away from Gerard.

“What you do is _psychotic_.” Frank snapped. For some reason, he was becoming angrier faster than usual today. He cursed quietly when Gerard narrowed his eyes at him.  “Okay, never mind. Let’s just drop this before it gets too heated.” Frank breathed and shoved himself off of the dark couch, hesitating before moving slowly towards Gerard and gently slotting their lips together. He smiled against his mouth when Gerard gently slid a hand up his arm, moving to cup the back of Frank’s neck and play with some pieces of stray hair.

“What do you expect from me, Frankie?” He chuckled quietly, releasing Frank’s neck and bringing his hand up to cradle his jaw. “You’ve known for a long time that I’m not a soft partner when it comes to sex. I thought you’d be used to it by now.” He murmured, gazing at Frank intensely. “And you’re not very subordinate a lot, so sometimes I have to do some things that aren’t very…sane."

“I am subordinate. You’re just crazy.” Frank scowled playfully, shaking his head  when Gerard patted his thigh, signaling that he wanted the smaller boy to sit on his lap. Gerard huffed out an irritated noise and repeated the action. Frank just rolled his eyes and moved away.

“If I’m crazy, you must be fucked up too because you’re fucking dating me and have had sex with me on multiple occasions. And, in case you forgot, _we also live together._ ” Gerard replied, eyebrows furrowing as he became annoyed, crossing his arms childishly. Frank just smiled and shook his head, beginning to walk towards the kitchen. Gerard’s fingers twitched as he fought the urge to get up and grab Frank.

“Do you want coffee?” Frank called from the kitchen, pushing down on the power button of their coffee machine. He watched as the buttons lit up, a blue circle of light swirling around each one. “I’m using the Keurig, so you need to tell me now if you want some, cause I’m not making a pot. They’re separate cups.”

“No.” Gerard said sourly, sulking like a child. He wanted Frank to sit with him, and he wanted it _now._ His plan had been ruined when Frank hadn’t, and Gerard felt that assaulting Frank and _making_ him sit on Gerard’s lap would’ve ruined the fun. Because then the shock wouldn’t be as intense when Gerard tried to choke Frank and get him on the floor. Gerard was thinking about smothering Frank with one of the pillows from their couch until he became unconscious, but Gerard feared that he might have gotten carried away and accidentally killed Frank… He didn’t want to kill Frank. He loved Frank so much. Frank was _his_ and he was never gonna let go of him. If he had to lock Frank up, then he would. If he had to chain him up, he would. Of course, he’d be there for Frank. He’d give him free time, too. Like Frank was a pet.

“Suit yourself.” Frank said, shrugging before reaching up and opening their cabinet, grabbing a random mug. It was a plain black mug, but it was slightly chipped in some places. It had been broken along the rim before. Frank raised an eyebrow as he looked down at it, wondering why he hadn’t gotten rid of it yet. Gerard never let him when he tried to. Always snatched it away like a jealous child when somebody wanted their toy. And every time Frank asked why he couldn’t get rid of it, Gerard got upset. He didn’t even bother anymore. Honestly, Frank didn’t even remember _buying_ it, but maybe it was expensive and that’s why Gerard refused to get rid of it. Despite the fact that they actually had a lot of money due to how many deaths there had been in Gerard’s family. All from ‘natural causes’ and old age. The only living relative Frank knew of was Mikey, Gerard’s brother. He didn’t know much about him, however. Gerard never spoke about him and Frank wasn’t stupid enough to ask. But the others had perished.

Frank was pretty sure that Gerard killed them.

Frank didn’t think it was for the money. No, Gerard didn’t ever really care for lavish things and large amounts of money. He killed for the fuck of it. He killed because it was all a little game to him. These people were mortals and he was God. Frank knew that Gerard didn’t think he was an actual god. Gerard was aware that he was human. He just didn’t give a shit and acted like he had control over everything. Nothing bothered him. All his morals blurred, and he saw people as puppets. He could use them, put on a show, and then cut their strings when he was done with them, letting them fall to the floor and lay uselessly. The only person he had ever really given a shit was about Frank. Gerard loved three things: blood, murder, and _Frank._

God help anybody that tried to take Frank.

Gerard watched Frank angrily from his spot on the couch. Frank had walked away from him. Gerard didn’t fucking like it when Frank did that. And Frank _knew_ that. What the fuck? Gerard was right. Frank _was_ insubordinate. This was literally just proof of it. “What the _fuck._ ” Gerard hissed, pushing himself off of the couch. He angrily stalked into the kitchen, crossing his arms like a child and glaring at Frank. He leaned against the wall as he waited for the younger to notice his presence.

Frank hummed as he drilled his fingers against the countertop, keeping his eyes trained on his filling cup. Frank smiled softly when the liquid stopped falling, leaving his cup holding nice, hot coffee. Frank eagerly grabbed the drink, his fingers tightly holding onto the handle. “You know,” he began to speak, unaware that Gerard was in the room was him. The elder just rolled his eyes and continued to lean against the wall. “There’s that art festival up in the city tomorrow. I thought you’d like that, so I was wondering if you wanted to go? We might have to get up earlier than usual, but – _Gerard!”_ Frank shrieked when he came face to face with the other. The mug slipped from Frank’s hand easily, some of the liquid splashing onto the tattooed skin of the younger boy. Frank hissed and pulled his hand away completely, grabbing at his burning skin as the cup continued to fall. It was all in slow motion for Gerard. Frank was stumbling away, gripping at his wrist, as the mug soared towards the floor. The mug that was so important to him. The mug that Frank had been drinking from the first time Gerard saw him. The mug that Gerard had stolen from the shop simply because Frank had used it. That mug, that super fucking _special_ mug, was about to break.

Gerard moved as quickly as his reflexes would allow him to, reaching out and grabbing desperately at the object. Gerard inhaled sharply when his fingers brushed the outside of the handle, the item still being out of hold until a few more seconds. His eyes widened as he managed to hook a pale finger in the handle, catching the precious mug right before it hit the ground.

Gerard quickly straight up, fixing his grip on the cup. He stared down at the chipped mug for a few seconds before taking in a deep breath and squeezing his eyes shut. Frank watched Gerard warily, not quite understanding why Gerard was so attached to this cup. “Gerard-“

“Do you have no fucking respect for me? You fucking _knew_ this cup is important and you were so careless with it.” Gerard snarled, moving to place the cup on their counter. Though he was furious, he was gentle with the object, caringly placing it on the smooth surface.

“Gerard,” Frank breathed, eyebrows tugged together. “I don’t understand why you’re so mad.” He said quietly, flinching back when Gerard raised his head to glare at him, anger flickering in his eyes.

“No, you don’t. You don’t because you’re a fucking brat who doesn’t pay attention to fucking _anything.”_ He snapped, stepping forward until Frank was pressed against the fridge. Gerard quickly brought his hands up to fist at Frank’s shirt. He leaned in close, making sure there was barely any space between their faces. Frank winced and tried to move away, attempting to ignore the feeling of the fridge’s handle digging into his back. He never really knew why he always tried to run. Gerard would always find him. Always get closer and closer and closer. Frank couldn’t escape Gerard.

“It’s a cup! It’s a cup, Gerard. I don’t-“

“Don’t understand.” Gerard finished with a sneer. “Yeah, I fuckin’ know. It’s from the coffee shop, Frank.” Gerard hinted. He huffed an angry breath when Frank gave him a confused stare.

“Coffee shop?” Frank asked quietly, fighting the urge to squeeze his eyes shut. Gerard was going to lose it soon. Frank was going to say something, and Gerard was going to lose his shit even more.

“ _Anne’s_ , Frank. _Anne’s Coffee Shop._ ” Gerard growled, his grip on Frank’s shirt tightening.

Frank’s expression stayed confused for a few more seconds, his lips parting as he readied himself to speak before his eyes widened and he breathed out, “ _Oh._ That’s our shop. Wait, Gerard. Did you _steal_ that?” He questioned, his volume increasing towards the end.

“Yes.”

“Why?” Frank asked quietly as he brought his hands up to cup Gerard’s fist. Frank’s touch was gentle as he smoothly caressed Gerard’s hands. Gerard’s eyes flickered down towards where Frank’s hands were before looking back up at his face, searching his expression for any trace that Frank was going to attack or deceive him. When he found nothing offensive, he slowly relaxed his grip on Frank’s shirt, though he kept Frank backed against the fridge.

“Because you had drank from it.” He explained, swiping his tongue along his bottom lip. “You had touched it; therefore, it was important. So, I had to take it.

Frank cringed as he took Gerard’s words in. Frank knew that Gerard had quickly harbored feelings for him, more so an obsession, to put it bluntly, but not that quick. And not that _strongly._

“I don’t… _just because I touched it?”_ Frank asked, because _fuck._ That was pretty weird. Obviously not the weirdest when it came to Gerard, but for sure weird.

“Yeah.” Gerard replied softly. Frank almost smiled because Gerard was obviously calmed down, but it seemed that he wasn’t having the best of luck that day because Gerard became angry once again. He watched as his lover changed back into a monster. Frank watched as Gerard’s lip curled back in a snarl, his eyes became hard and angry, his fingers twitched. Frank knew it was going to happen even before it did, but it still started him. Gerard’s hand was soon darting out, soon wrapping his long, pale, boney fingers around Frank’s wrist. He squeezed harder then usual, and Frank couldn’t help the squeal that ripped from him.

But, much to Frank’s surprise, Gerard didn’t drag him anywhere. Gerard didn’t yank him down the hallway. No, Gerard just stared at Frank, his grip growing tighter and tighter. “Gerard,” Frank whimpered, desperately trying to get away. “Gerard, you’re going to break my wrist.”

Gerard suddenly ripped his hand away, releasing Frank’s now bruised wrist. “Sorry.” He mumbled before shuffling out of the room. Frank stared at his retreating form with wide eyes, so many questions swimming through his mind. “Gerard?” Frank called daringly. Gerard was probably going to get something to hurt Frank. Something really bad. A heavy weight settled in Frank’s chest the more he thought about it,  his fingers gripping the sides of the fridge behind him.

“Yeah?” Gerard replied, turning to stare at Frank with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. He seemed so…normal at that moment. It was scaring the fucking shit out of Frank.

“Aren’t you – actually, never mind. Don’t pay attention to me.” Frank decided against questioning Gerard, seeing as it would probably just trigger him. That was literally the last thing Frank wanted at that moment. Frank swallowed down the anxiety rising in him as he waited for Gerard to snap at him and tell him to keep talking.

“Okay.” Gerard shrugged nonchalantly. It was a completely different Gerard than the one Frank had just been facing. It was so disturbing how quickly he could switch moods. But Frank wasn’t even sure that anything had truly changed. He knew there was a possibility that this was all a trick. It was all an illusion that Gerard was feeding Frank and hell was about to break loose. “Oh, Frank. Please clean up the mess. I really don’t like the idea of stepping in a puddle of coffee while I’m trying to get something to eat.” He finished before placing his foot on the first step of their stairs and going up, his fingers leisurely skimming the railing.

“Yeah, okay. I will...” Frank trailed off, though talking was useless because Gerard had already gone upstairs. Frank didn’t understand how he switched that quickly. That wasn’t like him at all. _Nothing_ like that had ever happened before and it had Frank questioning things even more. Was it because he had been killing earlier? Probably not. That never really relaxed Gerard before. Shit, this was all so _confusing._ Most things were confusing with Gerard, but never to this extent. Frank’s eyes flickered up to stare at the ceiling as he heard his boyfriend moving around upstairs. Frank held his breath as he waited for a crashing noise to break through the silence, or for him to stop screaming, but it never came. It was quiet for a few seconds before footsteps were heard again. The bubbling anxiety became even worse and Frank was preparing himself to run.

But Gerard was merely just coming down the stairs to poke his head around the corner and say, “Hey, after you’re done cleaning, do you want to watch that movie that’s running? In the TV right now, I mean. You obviously haven’t paid much attention to it since I arrived home and I’ve seen basically none of it, so I was thinking we could watch it.” He suggested with a kind smile. Frank just stared at him blankly for a few seconds because _what the fuck?_ This was not _normal._

“Frank?” Gerard called, trying to catch the younger boy’s attention again. Frank shook his head swiftly, his eyes fluttering open and closed a few times before he spoke again.

“Yeah, sure.” He mumbled, glancing up at Gerard for only a second before averting his gaze to the floor again. Gerard smiled and nodded, although Frank couldn’t see him so do. Frank continued to stare down at the floor until he was sure that Gerard had returned upstairs.

 

Frank shivered as the sound of the trap closing around the girl’s head rang from their TV, making the atmosphere even more tense for him. Nothing was bothering Gerard, however. That’s how it seemed, at least. He just laid comfortably, one arm around Frank’s waist, holding him against his chest tightly.

“That’s a little dramatic.” Gerard criticized, moving to hook his chin over Frank’s shoulder. Frank ’s heart sped up slightly at the feeling of Gerard’s breath ghosting his skin. “But I guess I’m just different.”

“Your…choices are just more personal, I suppose.” Frank supplied, not really knowing what else to contribute to the conversation. Frank wasn’t like Gerard. Frank wasn’t a _murderer._ Yeah, Frank was probably an absolute _terrible_ person for letting Gerard do what he did, but he never had a part in the killing. That had to mean something, right? That had to make Frank a little less terrible than Gerard. Or so he hoped.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, Frankie.” Gerard agreed, pressing a gentle kiss to Frank’s shoulder. Gerard was being so _gentle_ right now. So calm and nice. No yelling, no bleeding, no sex. It was just a pleasant embrace between two lovers.

Between a young man and a psychopath.

Frank internally winced at the thought. Here he was, cuddling with a fucking serial killer while he kissed him and talked about his killing methods. His lips had now moved up to Frank’s neck and Frank had to stifle a feared whimper. He was still afraid Gerard was going to lash out. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. It wasn’t supposed to be Gerard holding him and kissing his skin. There was supposed to be screaming and pain…

But Gerard never suddenly snapped. Never got mad and shoved Frank off of the bed. He instead just hummed into Frank’s neck. “I like having the control. I like having _all_ of it. I don’t want a stupid fucking trap to take the life I obviously sought for myself.” Gerard scoffed, sounding slightly annoyed. Like just the _thought_ of one of his victims being horrifically murdered by anything else besides him was terrible. If Frank wasn’t so high strung, he would have rolled his eyes. “You know Ted Bundy, right?” Gerard suddenly asked. His tone was definitely sharper and more focused than before, and it immediately sent Frank into high alert.

“Yes, of course.” Frank replied quietly. Of fucking course Frank knew who Ted Bundy was. He’d have to be an idiot to not know.

“Well,” Gerard began, his grip on Frank growing a little tighter. “He said: ‘ _Murder is not about lust and it’s not about violence. It’s about possession. When you feel the last breath of life coming out of the woman, you look into her eyes. At that point, it’s being God_.’” He responded. “I like playing God, Frankie. It’s terrible but thrilling. Death is a terrible thrill itself. But put it in the hands of a man, and _that’s_ when you have the biggest thrill of them all.” Gerard finished, looking up at Frank. Frank felt a shiver wrack through his body and a chilling sensation danced along his spine. How the fuck was he supposed to respond to that? His whole body was freezing up out of fear; his bones locking as the weight in his chest somehow became heavier.

“I suppose that’s why I do it how I do.” Gerard mused. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just better like that.” He breathed against Frank’s before gently mouthing at the soft skin of Frank’s neck. “I wish you’d join me.”

Frank couldn’t help but whimper this time. No way. No fucking way would he ever do that. Of course, it wasn’t the first time Gerard had tried to get him to kill with him. He even tried to coax Frank into doing it one time by telling him that he only had to _kill_ them instead of torturing too. That he’d only have to do one part and Gerard would do the rest. Gerard told him that it would be good because Frank would then realize that it wasn’t so bad, and he’d eventually move onto actually _killing_ them. Frank had cried and locked himself in the bathroom. He stayed in there for hours, listening to Gerard’s attempts of calming him down through the door. It never worked.

Frank squeaked when there was suddenly a hand over his crotch, rubbing forcefully. Frank quickly reached down, about to grab Gerard’s hand and pull it away, but there was a sudden sharp pain in his shoulder, causing Frank to yank his hand back. He frantically shoved himself away, tumbling off of the bed.

Gerard had bitten him.

Frank wasn’t a stranger to Gerard’s bites, of course. Gerard had a thing for biting. There were always marks on his thighs, collarbone, shoulders, his chest. Those never hurt too bad. Not like Frank didn’t like the pain. Frank fucking got off to it. But this was so much worse. This was a warning, and definitely one Frank didn’t miss. It wasn’t a love bite like the others. Gerard wasn’t kissing over it like he did with the other ones. Gerard had meant to seriously hurt him and that terrified Frank.

Frank shuffled away from Gerard quickly, eventually pushing himself off of the ground once he hit their bedroom wall. Frank stood prepared, ready to run if Gerard tried any shit. Frank watched as his elder rolled his eyes, moving to lay on his back and stare at the TV. “Stop acting like a moron and get off the fuckin’ floor.” Gerard said sharply, never taking his eyes off the TV. He was acting as if nothing had just happened. As if Gerard hadn’t just snapped down on Frank’s shoulder and bit hard enough to bleed. Frank briefly wondered how bad the damage was and curiously pulled the shoulder of his shirt down, swearing when he saw that Gerard _had_ in fact broken the skin and that there was blood pooling up from the imprints.

“Don’t be a dick, Gerard.” Frank snapped, somehow managing to grow a backbone despite all his anxiety. Though he regretted it almost immediately when Gerard suddenly turned to glare at him.

“Shut the fuck up, Frank.” He hissed before slumping back against the bed and moving his eyes towards the TV screen again. Once again, Frank was surprised. Why wasn’t Gerard reacting? First with the coffee cup and now with Frank’s attitude… Frank couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to know what was up with Gerard, even if he got fucked up as a result. He took a deep breath before walking towards the TV and unplugging the cord from the outlet. The TV immediately shut off and the room went quiet.

“Frank!” Gerard snapped, pushing himself up into a sitting position. “What the fuck? What the fuck are you doing?” He asked as he moved off of the bed. Frank flinched but spoke anyway.

“ _Me?_ What am _I_ doing? What the fuck are _you_ doing?!” Frank exclaimed. “You’re…not _normal_ today!” Frank scowled when Gerard suddenly laughed, running his fingers through his hair.

“I’m _never_ normal, Frankie. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Gerard responded, raising an eyebrow at Frank. “You’re the one that’s been acting strange today, not me.“

Frank scoffed, rubbing at his eyes before throwing his arms out dramatically. “I’m being weird because you are! You’re not mad. You’re not fucking _mad_ and that’s not right. You’re not being _you_ and it’s fucking scary.” Frank hissed between clenched teeth, dropping his arms and crossing them over his chest.

“Do you _want_ me to be mad?” Gerard questioned with a cocky smile. He didn’t look disturbed, even in the slightest. He looked _amused_ and it was infuriating Frank even more.

“Yes! Wait, fuck, no. I _don’t_ but I at least want you to act normal again! Seriously, Gerard. It’s unsettling.” Frank responded, still glaring at his lover. “Stop being weird or I’m leaving to go to Ray’s. This is giving me too much fucking anxiety and I’m done dealing with it.”

Frank was oblivious to the way Gerard’s eyes had darkened and his hands were now fisted, clenched tightly by his sides, until he spoke. “You’re not fucking leaving.” Gerard snapped loudly, breathing heavily. Frank could easily compare him to a wild animal at that point. His hair was tousled, eyes wild and angry, posture tense. He was ready to attack.

Frank couldn’t help but be a little happy that Gerard was acting normal again, though he still suspected that it would end soon. Though, at the same time, he was _terrified._ He had forgotten how fucking _angry_ Gerard got when Frank threatened to leave. Frank had only threatened to actually _break up_ with Gerard once, and the elder completely lost it. That was the first time Frank had seen Gerard cry.

“You can’t stop me from having an outside life, Gerard.” Frank yelled. The atmosphere was becoming heated incredibly fast and Frank knew somebody had to break it up. But he wasn’t going to. He was annoyed, anxious, and tired. If Gerard was going to hurt him, Frank would have rather just faced it now. That’s another reason why Frank was just letting go. He’d rather just trigger it and face all the bullshit now than be afraid any longer.

“Yes, I fucking can!” Gerard screamed, full on fucking _screamed,_ and advanced towards Frank. Frank didn’t even bother to run, knowing that Gerard would catch him anyway. Just stood there and prepared himself for a hit that never came. Frank’s eyes stayed glued on Gerard’s angry face, watching as it contorted into an ugly sneer. “You’re mine, Frank! You’re _mine._ I fucking _own_ you at this point.”

“I’m not an object, you dick.” Frank retorted. God, he was fucking _pissed_ now. Yeah, the anxiety still lingered, but he was just so fucking mad. Gerard was being absurd. This was fucking absurd. Frank really wasn’t in the mood to deal with this shit now.

“I fucking know that, Frankie.” Gerard used his nickname crudely, mocking him. It made Frank flinch, though in reality it didn’t really hurt him. It basically just annoyed him even farther. “I know that. But you still belong to me. You as a person belong to me. _You_ are mine. I fucking warned you, Frank. I warned you when you first kissed me that I wasn’t fucking good for you, yet you went ahead anyway. When you kissed me, you gave yourself to me. And the fucking _sex._ You gave yourself up then too. Every time, _every single time,_ you do shit like that, you are giving me more and more of yourself. You need to fucking realize that.”

“That’s not my fault.” Frank stuttered out. He was still angry, but he had became frightened once again from hearing what Gerard was saying. “That’s not my fault.” He repeated, whispering now. “I didn’t know… I didn’t know anything, Gerard.”

Gerard laughed manically, scrubbing a hand down his face  before bringing it up to Frank’s face, gripping his chin tightly. “But you did know, my dear Frankie.” He breathed. “You did know. You’ve _always_ known. There were warning bells going off in your head the first time you spoke to me, yet you chose to ignore them. You ignored the warning signs and all those little voices in your head telling you that I was bad and involved yourself with me anyway. And yet, despite your allegations, you stayed even after you realized what I was. You stayed after you found out about the killing. But, the thing is, I wouldn’t have let you go even if you wanted to. I’m _never_ going to. I love you way too fucking much to ever let go of you. And I know you wouldn’t leave, even if you had the choice because you love me, too. It is your fault, Frankie. You never even tried to leave. You let me sink my claws into you and take what I wanted.”

“I…I don’t-“ Frank tried, unable to form a response. Holy _fuck,_ Gerard was more into him than he thought.

“Hm? Don’t what, Frankie? You don’t have a response this time?” Gerard sneered, shaking his head and scoffing. “Why’d you stay, Frankie? If this wasn’t your fault, why’d you stay after you found out everything?”

Frank bit back a whimper and tried to pull away from Gerard’s grip, breathing out a relieved and surprised sigh when Gerard let go of him. “I…I don’t know.” He lied. He did know. It was because he loved Gerard. He loved Gerard, and that love made him blind and an idiot.

“Yes, you do.” Gerard responded, crossing his arms and cocking his head to the side. “Just admit it. We both know it.”

“If we both know it, why do I have to say it?” Frank tried desperately. He didn’t want to loose this. He wanted to have a backbone for once and fight back.

“Because I want to hear it.”

“But I don’t want to say it.”

“Well, you’re fuckin’ going to. And what you just said implies that you _do_ know and you’re just lying to me. I don’t like being lied to.” Gerard huffed, his glare returning. He knew Frank was lying even before, but it somehow made it worse when Frank revealed that he did.

“Fuck off.” Frank tried to snap at Gerard. His voice came out weak and shaky, however. He wanted to hide right now. Maybe he could hide in the closet like he did when he was younger, and his mom was drunk and angry. He wished he could. But he was a grown adult now. He couldn’t hide anymore. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“You disrespect me one more fucking time and you’re going to get hell, Frankie.” Gerard warned, his hands fisting by his sides. He  didn’t like this. _He_ was the one that was fucking with Frank. Frank wasn’t supposed to be fucking with _him._ Gerard wouldn’t take this. He wouldn’t take this disrespect. Frank had no right to be rude and boss him around. He wasn’t in charge. _Gerard_ was. Not Frank. Never Frank.

“Oh, please. Living with you is hell enough.” Frank shot back. He didn’t mean it, though. He liked living with Gerard. Most of the time, at least. Sometimes it was unsettling because Gerard was usually always around. Sometimes, Frank would come home and find Gerard nowhere, only to be fucking terrified when he randomly showed up. He would lurk in the dark areas of the house, sometimes hanging up in the attic. Whenever Frank would go up to check on him, afraid that he might have hurt himself somehow, he’d always just find him staring at the wall blankly. Frank would just sigh and go back downstairs.

Gerard shook his head in disbelief, rolling his eyes and scoffing before looking up at Frank, his expression feral. “You’ll regret that, Frank. You’ll fuckin’ regret that.” He hissed, staring at Frank viciously before moving away, swiftly leaving the room. Frank stared blankly at the spot where the older man had once stood, taking in everything that just happened. He swore loudly when it all hit him. Fuck, fuck, _fuck._ Gerard was going to fucking _destroy_ him. Frank immediately threw the door open again, sprinting down their hallway. Shit, this was going to be bad. This was going to be so _bad._ Frank stumbled down the stairs, swearing again when Gerard wasn’t in sight. He huffed out a panicked breath, looking around wildly. He went to the kitchen after that in search of his lover, though he had no luck. Frank tore through the rest of that house, calling out Gerard’s name and that he was sorry. He went to every room except one. One he wasn’t sure how he could have forgotten.

While Frank frantically searched the house, Gerard sat in the attic and listened.

 

Frank couldn’t sleep.

He never found Gerard. He had eventually thought that Gerard had left but both of their cars were in the driveway. And if Gerard had walked somewhere, he would have returned by now. He had nowhere else to go and there’s no way in hell he’d stay outside for that long. There Frank was, blanket draped over his shoulders as he stared at their bedroom TV with wide, tired eyes. He had plugged it back in earlier so he could have a distraction, though he didn’t really feel like watching TV. It never distracted him, though. He just continued to think more. The only good thing that he got out of it was that it kept his brain stimulated. Though he didn’t really feel awake. He was sluggish and on the verge of passing out, despite how terrified he was. Frank pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them, letting out a shaky breath. Fuck, this was so bad.

_You’ll regret that, Frank. You’ll fuckin’ regret that._

Frank did regret it. Frank regretted it so much. This was even worse than Gerard lashing out on him because the suspense was killing him. It make everything so scary. He was so skittish now and flinched at every tiny sound. Frank whimpered and buried his head between his knees, taking in a deep breath and trying to control his nerves. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work.

Frank was so occupied with trying to calm himself that he didn’t feel the bed shift. He hadn’t realized that another person had joined him in his sluggish state. He didn’t realize until there were hands over his eyes and, _“Peek-a-boo”_ was being whispered in his ear. A scream began to tear itself from Frank’s throat but was choked up and silenced when he was shoved off the bed.

Gerard didn’t kick or hit him like Frank was expecting. No, he just wrapped his fingers around Frank’s wrist and yanked on his arm, dragging him. Frank instinctively tried to pull away and stand up, but it was a fail. It just hurt Frank’s arm even more and gave him rug burn when he fell again and scraped his palm on the carpet as he braced himself.

“Gerard, fuck, _Gerard._ Get off of me. Get off!” Frank yelped. He breathed out a relieved sigh when he was suddenly let go of, though his relief was short lived. Gerard was tangling his fingers in Frank’s hair soon after and yanking him off the floor. Frank cried out and stumbled a little, grabbing at Gerard’s arm to stable himself. Gerard didn’t give himself any time to fix up, as he was dragging Frank down the hall and down the stairs.

Frank began to panic even more when they neared the basement door. Gerard was going to leave him down there, wasn’t he? Fuck, Frank didn’t like basements. Actually, Frank didn’t mind basements. Frank didn’t like basements and _Gerard._ Those combined were terrible. “Gerard, please. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I love you. Please don’t do this.” Frank begged. He wasn’t exactly sure what Gerard was going to do, but it obviously wasn’t good. Gerard never replied, causing Frank to choke out a sob.

Frank cried even harder when Gerard let go of him and pushed him in front of him, silently instructing Frank to go down the stairs. Frank choked out more pleads but Gerard never took interest in any of them. Everything Frank was saying to him was falling dead to his ears. Frank complied and stumbled down the stairs, though he really didn’t want to. It seemed that he didn’t have a choice at this point. Gerard had been right. He owned Frank.

“Sit.” Gerard finally spoke, spitting out the single word. Frank flinched, wiping at his now snotty nose. It had began to run from his crying and it was gross.

“Gerard-“

“Shut up, Frank.”

Frank shivered, crossing his arms and grabbing his shoulders. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Gerard shot him this terrifying look that made him shut up. He didn’t want to make anything worse.

“Since it’s apparently too fucking hard for you to be respectful, I’m locking you down here. There’s no getting out of it.” Gerard said loudly, his angry voice ringing through their dimly lit basement. A shiver wracked through Frank again and he brought his hands up to wipe away the new tears that were prickling in his eyes, threatening to fall.

Frank whined and squeezed his eyes shut when he heard the clinking of the chain, already knowing it was the handcuffs that they owned. It was usually only used for sex, but it was being used differently now. Frank really wished they weren’t.

“Gee, please.” Frank whispered pathetically, reaching out to gently tug on Gerard’s pant leg. “Please, Gerard. I’ll do anything.”

Gerard suddenly laughed, the sound shocking Gerard and making him flinch. “I fucking know you would. You’d be a whore for me if it meant getting out of this. Fuck, you’re always being a whore for me. Being a slut isn’t going to get you out of this, Frankie. You can’t whore yourself out of being punished, especially when you really deserve it.” He told Frank maliciously as he looked down at him, jerking his leg away. He enjoyed the way Frank’s bottom lip quivered and how he sniffed when the fabric was ripped from him and he was no longer touching Gerard at all.

“How long will I be down here?” Frank whispered, averting his eyes to stare at the cold ground again. He whimpered quietly when Gerard grabbed his arm and clicked the cuff closed around his wrist. “Gerard? How long will I be down here?” He asked again, muttering, “ _fuck”_ under his breath when Gerard didn’t answer. Gerard wasn’t going to tell him anything. He was _fucked._

“Gerard?” He tried again. “Gerard, how long will I be down here? What if I get hungry? Or if I have to use the bathroom. This isn’t a good idea.” Frank tried to reason. He realized his mistake a few seconds later when Gerard quickly looked up at him and bared his teeth in an ugly sneer.

“Who the fuck are you to tell me what’s a good idea and what’s not, Frank? You don’t fucking know anything.” Gerard snapped, narrowing his eyes at his lover. “And you’ll be fucking fine. Piss yourself if you have to. I don’t give a shit. You’re not getting out of this.”

Frank gave up at this point. It was useless to try so he wasn’t even going to bother anymore. “I’m sorry.” Frank mumbled, staring down at his chained wrist. His eyes followed the chain until his eyes settled on a pipe, noticing that Gerard had cuffed the other one around it. Frank sighed and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to fight back incoming tears.

“Frank, look at me.” Gerard ordered. Frank immediately opened his eyes and looked at him, noticing that he was now crouching in front of him. Frank sobbed when Gerard lifted his hand, expecting a hit. Though he was pleasantly surprised when Gerard instead gently cupped his cheek. “This is just so you learn, Frankie. I don’t hate you. I just want you to realize that you can’t treat me like that.” He cooed before pulling away and pushing himself up to stand. “Bye, Frankie.”

“Bye, Gee.” Frank said, his voice sounding akin to a whimper, leaning against the wall as he mindlessly tugged at the chain. Frank hung his head as he listened to Gerard move up the stairs. He already hated this, and it had just started. At least this wasn’t too bad… It was just being left alone. How bad could it be?  


Frank shrieked as the room suddenly went dark. Fuck, no. Frank could not sit in the dark alone for a long time. It was different when Frank was trying to sleep alone. That wasn’t scary. He could handle that, but not a fucking basement. That was different. There was nothing comforting down here. It was just him and the darkness. Frank so desperately wanted to yell out for Gerard and plead for him to turn the light on. Gerard was being nice to him just moments ago. Maybe he would listen to Frank…

“Gerard?” Frank called out. “Gerard, can you please turn the light on? It’s freaking me out.” Frank felt stupid after he yelled the last part. That was probably the point. Gerard was trying to freak him out. He did that all the time. He always tried to ramp up the fear whenever he did shit. Gerard was fucking sick in the head so Frank didn’t really think he had a limit to what he would do. Frank felt even stupider when Gerard didn’t reply. He shouldn’t have expected anything else. He was stuck down here in the dark alone for god knows how long.

Silence and darkness did not go well with Frank. He was fine when he was with somebody else, but not when he was alone...When Frank was alone in silence, especially in the dark, he begun to think. And sometimes, Frank’s thoughts weren’t good. Sometimes, his fear got to him and he begun to imagine things. Voices, feelings, things that weren’t there… Frank wasn’t crazy. He didn’t hallucinate regularly. It’s not like he saw shit all the time. It was just when he was really paranoid.

So, Frank tried not to panic when the first sensation danced along the heel of his foot. He tried so hard, but more panic welled up in him despite his efforts. Frank still knew that nothing was there. He didn’t think that there was somebody else in the room with him. He knew he was completely alone. He was alone with his thoughts, and that almost terrified him more than it should have.

“Frank, you’re fine. He’ll probably leave you here for…two hours. Yeah, two hours tops.” Frank tried to tell himself. He knew it wasn’t true, though. He knew he was lying to himself. Gerard never went that low. When Gerard was majorly pissed, as he was now, he went out to extremes. He’d leave Frank down here for much longer than that. He’d leave Frank down here for hours and hours without a single idea of when he was going to go back upstairs. Frank clenched his eyes shut and tried to zone out all of his surroundings.

Then that gentle touch became a firm one. Frank squeaked and jerked his leg back, rubbing over the skin of his ankle where he had just felt the touch. It reminded him of Gerard. It had wrapped it’s fingers around the soft skin of Frank’s ankle and squeezed tightly. Frank shivered as he thought about how cold the imaginary touch had felt.

Frank hated this.

All Frank could do was close his eyes and pretend. But he couldn’t pretend forever. Eventually, the touches became stronger. Eventually, there were touches all over Frank. Eventually, Frank just couldn’t do it. Frank couldn’t spend another hour down here.

“Gerard!” He sobbed out. “Gerard! They’re touching me again, Gerard. Make them stop!” He screamed, doubling over as another sob wracked through his body. He desperately tugged at the chain, though he knew it would not break. “Gerard, please! I can’t take this anymore!”

Frank began to hyperventilate, his face contorting up into an ugly expression as the air was violently sucked into his lungs. His stomach clenched painfully as he struggled to breath, his eyes squeezed  closed as he tried to stop it. But he couldn’t. It just got worse and worse. He sobbed dryly, his throat hurting from all the crying and screaming he had done. The breaths he was taking in were sharp and loud, ringing throughout the tiny basement. “Gerard!” He managed to yell. “I need you! Gerard, I _need_ you!”

Frank could barely hear his sobs over the blood rushing through his ears, a sharp pounding slamming in  his head. His hands shook violently as he frantically tried to grab hold of something. He never found anything, making him fall to the floor. A large section of Frank’s hair fell in front of his face, covering one of his eyes as he look down at the floor desperately. He needed to calm down before this escalated and he ended up passing out. He whimpered as a buzzing sound suddenly played in his head, becoming louder and louder. “Stop it!” Frank tried to demand, but his words came out choked up and unintelligible. His chest hurt so fucking bad. He felt like he was having a heart attack. Fuck, he felt like he was going to _die._ Of course, that was just his anxiety talking. He wasn’t going to die. Not like this, at least…

Frank wanted to vomit so badly, but there was nothing in his stomach. So, when he doubled over again, clutching at his stomach with the unchained hand, he found himself dry retching. It just made his throat hurt so much worse. He couldn’t help it, though. He just felt so _sick._ Frank had hoped that him trying to throw up would calm his breathing somehow, but it was the opposite. Everything hurt so fucking much. His throat burned, every breath he took seemingly scratching the dry walls of it, his chest hurt, his skin tingled, and that annoying fucking buzzing sound had taken over completely. Frank felt so dizzy, too. Nothing seemed real anymore. He felt so strange. Like he was floating. He couldn’t hear himself anymore, the only thing ringing through his ears being the buzzing sound, but he could still feel everything through his haze. Everything hurt, but it also didn’t. His body was feeling it and trying to tell his mind about it, but his mind was rejecting it. It seemed that Frank was almost denying it. He was refusing to accept the thought that something bad was happening, and that somehow allowed his brain to numb some of the pain.

Frank felt so desperate at that moment. He needed Gerard. He needed Gerard and only him. Gerard took care of him, even though he fucked up Frank a few times. Gerard would fix this. Gerard always fixed everything…

Frank tried to scream again for help, but it came out throaty and mangled like all the other ones. Gerard was going to come for him. He knew it. Gerard wouldn’t leave him like this, right? He wouldn’t leave him to pass out and lay on the floor. Would he?

Gerard looked down at the door knob as he turned the key, the light a nearby street lamp casting down on his face. He had just gone down to the local 24/7 shop to get more food so he could make them late dinner. He had to make it up to Frank. He already felt bad. He thought Frank only deserved two more hours and then he could come up. Then it would have been six hours. Frank would have learned by then.

But then Gerard stepped into the house and his plan was immediately cut.

He heard the crying first, and then the breathing. “Frank, _fuck._ ” He breathed, dropping the bag beside him and kicked the door shut. “Frank, no. Fuck, shit, _fuck._ ” Gerard swore, quickly fishing around for the basement key in his pocket. He had locked the basement door just in case Frank had managed to get out. When was basically impossible, unless Frank had found something to pick it with or fucking tore off his hand. Gerard doubted the second would ever happen. Gerard jammed the key in the lock with shaky fingers, finally managing to unlock it after a few tries. “Frank? Frank, I’m here.”

Frank didn’t even realize that somebody else had entered the room. He had fallen to lay on his side now, resting his head against the cold floor as he panicked. When Frank suddenly felt hands on him, he screamed brokenly. “Get off.” He whimpered. He wanted to get up and _run._ Run away from all this bullshit and find Gerard. Gerard would keep those imaginary touches away. Frank sobbed brokenly when a cold pair hands were on his face, their thumbs skimming the area under his eyes. If Frank could have at that moment, he’d smile. It seemed like it was wiping away his tears. Yet, he was fucking scared shitless and nothing was real.

But then Frank was being pulled off on the floor, and he finally felt something again. Frank wasn’t picking himself up. He knew this because one hand was in his hair and the other was chained up. Frank wept as he forced himself to pry his eyes open. Whatever was holding him had to be real because Frank knew for a fact that fucking imaginary hands could not do that. And he was so glad he did. Never had he been so relieved to see a human face.

_Gerard._

“Gerard.” Frank croaked. “Help me, Gerard. Please help me.” He tried to say. It only came out as broken noises. Frank still couldn’t hear, though. It was just buzzing. That fucking annoying buzzing and pain. Frank just wanted it to end. That’s all he wanted.

“Shh, Frankie.” Gerard cooed, though he was silently panicking. He hadn’t seen Frank this bad before. It broke his heart. This was his fault. He made Frank like this. “Frankie, calm down, Frankie. I’m here.” Gerard tried again, one hand holding Frank against his chest and the other stuffed in his pocket, searching for the key to the cuff. Luckily, this key was colored differently than the rest of the ones he carried, so he found it quicker. As soon as it was out of his pocket, he was jamming it in the lock and turning it, unlocking the cuff. He took it off as soon as he could, grabbing Frank’s wrist gently.

“Baby, you have to stop. You’re going to pass out, Sweetheart.” He murmured. “Come on, Darling. You need to stop. You are going to pass out.” He repeated. “Frankie, I’m here. You’re safe, okay? There’s nothing to be afraid of.” He gently kissed Frank’s forehead, taking his hand from his wrist up to pet Frank’s sweaty hair back. “I’m sorry, Frankie.”

Frank didn’t calm down, however. He kept hyperventilating and Gerard swore. “Okay, fuck. I have to get you upstairs then. You can drink and be more comfortable. Drinking helps, right? Yeah, I think it does.” Gerard spoke, mainly to himself, before shifting so he was able to pick Frank up, holding the other tight to his chest. Frank cried weakly as he was lifted off of the ground, burying his face into Gerard’s neck as he tried to calm down. He knew he shouldn’t have but his face somewhere where air access wasn’t so good and that he could smother himself, basically, but he didn’t care. He needed Gerard. He couldn’t pry himself away, no matter how hard he could try. Even if he had wanted to.

Gerard huffed as he walked up the stairs, struggling with Frank slightly. Frank wasn’t heavy at all. No, Gerard just wasn’t prepared to carry anybody right now. But he didn’t have much of a choice right now. Frank obviously couldn’t stand right now, and it would be a disaster if he tried to go up the stairs. “Okay, Frankie. Try…try to relax. I know that’s easier said than done but you have to.” He placed Frank down on their couch gently, carding his fingers through the other’s damp hair once again before turning towards the kitchen. “Frankie, I really don’t want you to pass out, so please calm your breathing. I’m sorry, Frankie. I didn’t think you’d take it that badly. I didn’t know you didn’t go well with isolation.” Gerard babbled, hands shakily turning the sink handle and quickly filling the glass. “I’m sorry this doesn’t have ice in it. I know you don’t like water without ice, baby, but this is just temporary. I’ll get you iced water after this. I promise. I bought food, too. We can eat after this. I’ll take care of you, Frankie. I promise. I’m so sorry.” Gerard shut off the water and swiftly padded over to the couch.

“Come on, Frankie. Drink this. It’ll help you.” Gerard cooed in a soft voice, bringing the glass up to Frank’s lips and tipping it back. Frank quickly placed his hands above Gerard’s. grasping the cup and drinking it greedily. The cold water was rushing down his throat, silencing his breathing. Gerard was right. This was helping him.

Gerard hesitantly pulled his hands away from the glass, placing them on Frank’s thighs instead. While he was partially afraid that Frank was going to drop the glass, he also thought that he’d be able to hold it on his own. “I’ll get you more after this, Babydoll.” Gerard promised, soothingly rubbing his pale hands up and down Frank’s slim thighs. “Don’t rush yourself.”

Frank continued to gulp down the water, whimpering when the last drop fell on his tongue. His head still hurt but the buzzing was going away. Drinking the water made him focus, clearing some of his panic as he took in his surroundings. He wasn’t in the basement anymore. He was in his brightly lit living room, unchained on his couch with Gerard smiling crookedly up at him. Frank tried to focus on that smile as his pain began to clear and his breathing slowed. “I’m gonna get you more, Frankie.” He vaguely heard Gerard say. Frank watched as Gerard’s boney, pale digits wrapped around the glass, taking it from him.

“Don’t leave me, Gee.” Frank whispered, his lips barely moving as he stared emptily at the wall. “I don’t want to be alone again.”

Gerard bit his lip and squeezed his eyes for a second as he tried to push back the overwhelming feeling of guilt that was trying to drown him. This was his fault. Frank was like this because he was a dick who liked to fuck with people’s fear. _Fuck._ “I won’t, Darling. I’m just getting you more.” He reassured, wishing that the cup would just fill faster. Frank wasn’t hyperventilating anymore. He just panted softly, occasionally sniffling. As soon as the cup was filled with an acceptable amount of water, he briskly walked back to Frank. “Drink up, ” Gerard encouraged, gently pushing the cup into Frank’s grasp. Frank almost instantly brought it up to his lips and sipped from it.

Gerard exhaled sadly and brought his hand down to rest on Frank’s knee. “I won’t…I won’t do that again, Frankie.” He said softly. “I’m sorry. You’re never going back down there.”

“No.” Frank agreed through his now slowing tears. “I’m not. You ever fucking try that again and I’m legitimately leaving you.” Even though Frank was still uneasy, some of his attitude was returning. He was becoming angrier. But he wasn’t angry enough to flip out when Gerard’s grip tightened.

“No...” Gerard spoke lowly, eyes narrowing. “You’re not.” He scowled, his temper rising. He wanted to punish Frank again. He needed to make Frank realize who he belonged to. But he realized he couldn’t once he focused back on Frank wholly. Frank looked so _broken._ Fuck, Frank _was_ broken right now. Gerard couldn’t get mad at him. He just couldn’t. Frank’s appearance was sobering to him. It made him remember that his anger and jealously was how they got there. Gerard clenched his eyes shut and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose before dragging his hand down the side of his face. “No, ignore me, Frankie. Don’t…don’t be scared.” He murmured. He tried to smile at Frank, though it was weak. It fell when he saw once again how hurt and _angry_ he seemed.

“I just...fuck, I need to sleep.” Frank sighed softly, ignoring how Gerard had just looked. He didn’t have anything in him left to fight anymore. He was psychically and emotionally worn out. Frank sighed again when he looked to his left and saw that his clock read three am.

“You should clean up first, Frankie.” Gerard recommended in a soft murmur. “You’re all sweaty, Sweetheart. And I think a shower will relax you more. Maybe a bath, if you’re too tired to take a shower. Just to kind of rinse off.” He continued, pushing himself on his feet and sticking his hand out for Frank. Frank stared at his hand for a second before groaning softly.

“Yeah, I guess.” Frank mumbled, reaching out and taking Gerard’s hand. He huffed out a loud breath when Gerard suddenly tugged him up. Frank stumbled a few steps before Gerard pulled him close, steadying him.

“Alright, Darling.”

_

Frank stared at Gerard, watching as the older man shifted in his spot across from him. Gerard originally was going to leave Frank to bathe alone, waiting in their bedroom. Frank didn’t like that idea, though. He began to cry when Gerard left the bathroom, almost slipping back into an attack. Of course, Gerard came rushing back in to comfort him. Frank had calmed down quickly, only after Gerard agreed to stay with him. Gerard had meant that he would just stay in the bathroom, but it turned out Frank wanted him in the tub with him after they had both rinsed off. So here they were.

“I…really am sorry, Frankie.” He whispered. “I didn’t expect for you to react so…violently.” Gerard shivered as images of a disturbed Frank flashed throughout his mind. He kept telling Frank that, but Frank just continued to stare down at the water.

“Frankie…you know I’d never leave you, right?” Gerard asked softly, letting his hand fall back into the water uselessly. “I’d never leave you to die or leave you alone for longer than I thought you could handle.” Gerard finished, wincing when Frank suddenly looked up at him with an annoyed expression. “I’m not saying that that’s what you thought when you were down there, but I just want you to know that.”

“You fucking knew I can’t handle being alone. I’ve told you this multiple times and you didn’t fucking listen to me. You went ahead and left me anyway, despite you knowing that I’m terrified of that.  And for that, you’re a fucking piece of shit.” Frank spat, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the end of the tub. His anger had now returned, almost coming back at full force. Though he knew now to control it, so Gerard didn’t get mad and react violently again. And he was still a little disturbed from what had happened, so Frank didn’t think he could really _handle_ full force anger. Despite his efforts, Gerard’s eyes darkened as his lip curled up into a snarl, fingers gripping the side of the tub tightly as he stared at his lover.

“Don’t fucking-“ Gerard stopped speaking suddenly when Frank winced, closing his eyes tightly and forcing himself to calm down. So, even though he didn’t want to, he unclenched his jaw and released the sides of the tub. He took a few more deep breaths before opening his eyes and speaking again. “I am sorry for swearing at you.” He began softly. “You have every right to be pissed at me, and I have no right to be mad at you. I’m sorry.” He finished. Frank took in a shaky breath and start to twirl the water in a circle with his pointer finger.

“It’s…fuck, okay. Just, why? Why didn’t you just…hurt me like you did the other times? Or why didn’t you react before with the previous things?” Frank inquired instead of getting pissed like he wanted to. They had to keep this conversation civil and…calm. Well, as calm as it could be with Gerard.

“Oh, um…” Gerard chuckled guilty before bringing his hand up to move his wet hair out of his face. “That was to scare you. I just thought that it would just like…make you more anxious, I guess? I thought it would make the scare factor better, but I guess I didn’t think it out thoroughly. I didn’t really realize that all the anxiety that was built up would come down kind of violently. I was planning to drag it out longer, but then you said the shit about leaving me and I just lost it.” Gerard scowled at the thought of Frank’s words. He hated those words. He fucking hated when Frank said shit like that. It scared him. He didn’t want Frank to leave him. He couldn’t let Frank leave him. He’d never let him.

“You fucking _dick.”_ Frank swore, wincing when Gerard narrowed his eyes at him. Despite that Gerard was being more reasonable than usual and that he himself had said that Frank had a right to be angry, he still had to be careful. “Okay, sorry. No offense, but that’s such an asshole move.” Frank replied, cocking an eyebrow at Gerard. Though he wanted to yell. He wanted to curse and scream at Gerard, but he held himself back.

“Yeah, Frankie. I know. Once again, I’m sorry.” Gerard apologized. “Do you…do you hate me now, Frankie? You never said I love you back and you seem pretty pissed.” Gerard asked quietly, watching Frank intently. His voice sounded so weak and fragile at the moment. Frank didn’t like it. It made him nervous when Gerard was feeling weak, because he was the strong one of the two. Frank was tough, but Gerard held up better. Frank inhaled softly before looking back up at Gerard.

“No, Gee.” He sighed. “I don’t. I’m just angry. Angry and hurt. I don’t want you doing this to me again. Ever. No matter what.” Frank looked directly in Gerard’s eyes as he spoke. “No exceptions.”

“Okay,” Gerard nodded, keeping eye contact with Frank. “I promise I won’t do that again. I love you, Frankie.” Gerard said, his gaze on Frank intensifying as he waited for a response. Frank huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Do you really need to hear those words to believe it?” Frank questioned, sinking lower into the bath until his chin was barely above the water. Gerard nodded, almost looking embarrassed, which was even more weird. Gerard was hardly ever embarrassed. Frank didn’t really think he was capable of being so sometimes, seeing how shameless he was around Frank. “Well, you shouldn’t. I’m still here, aren’t I? If I didn’t love you, I would have left. Fuck, Gerard. You were right. I stayed when all that shit about you, no offense, being fucking _crazy_ came out because I loved you. If I could stay through that shit, I can stay through shit.” Frank finished, giving Gerard a small smile.

“Really, Frankie. It was pretty obvious that something was up with me.” He snickered. “But, I’m glad you stayed. Back then when we first met, and now. And…I’m glad you still love me. Obviously. I wouldn’t really take it well if you didn’t.” Gerard grinned shyly at the other, scratching at the back of his neck. Frank watched as the water dripped off of Gerard’s pale skin as his arm rose from the water.

“No fucking shit, dude.”

Gerard laughed, a full on laugh that had him throwing his head back, before moving forward towards Frank. The water trembled around him as he reached for his lover, and he could vaguely hear some water splashing out of the tub and into the floor. It annoyed Gerard that he’d have to wipe it up, but he pushed that annoyance to the back of his head and tried to focus on Frank instead.

With a happy sigh, Gerard leaned forwards and locked his lips with Frank’s, hands moving up to cup his cheeks.

God, he was never letting him go.

 


End file.
